An impulse comes and in the midst of everything that is happening inside of you, you stop it. Maybe you don’t even recognize it for it has been so long since you set yourself to not follow that which arises from deep inside of your Being.
In a culture where the basic framework of relating is based on abuse, the disconnection from your bodies, all five of them, seems to be the natural way to go in order to survive. Surviving was the most important thing back then and you did what you had to do to get through and my guess is that if you are reading these lines you have come to a point where this is no longer working for you. The survival, I mean.
An impulse comes and in the midst of everything that is happening inside of you, you stop it. Maybe you don’t even recognize it for it has been so long since you set yourself to not follow that which arises from deep inside of your Being.
In a culture where the basic framework of relating is based on abuse, the disconnection from your bodies, all five of them, seems to be the natural way to go in order to survive. Surviving was the most important thing back then and you did what you had to do to get through and my guess is that if you are reading these lines you have come to a point where this is no longer working for you. The survival, I mean.
It may be that you are not aware that what I am talking about is that itching sensation inside of your heart, or that longing that keeps you awake at night. I hope that this text will open that door for you.
You have a physical body, one that allows you to go where you want to go, it is the vessel that your Being inhabits. Along with this body you have four more: the emotional which is from where you feel with your heart, the intelectual that allows you to think things through, analyse and question your surroundings, the energetic which connects you to a wider array of dimensions and spaces and the archetypal from which you connect with your Archetypal Lineage and Bright Principles.
To incarnate is to inhabit all of them and when inhabiting all of them you align yourself with forces greater than yourself and you go from surviving to living, from scarcity to Creation. You are a Creative Being. Maybe no one ever told you this, and yet you are. So if you are not creating in a conscious way you are doing it unconsciously, meaning that all that power is used without a compass, much like a car going full speed without a driver on the backseat.
Impulses are one of your compass languages, they come fast and they can go away fast as well. Impulses connect with the here and now in a very different way than clocks measure time. They are small opening windows to other Possibilities, if you chose to enter an impulse, you chose to enter the Unknown and there is no way for you to know what is on the other side. To know you have to go through the impulse.
Impulses have a particular energetic signature, in other words, they have a flavor that you can train yourself to recognize, pretty much like when you know you are thirsty, hungry, or tired. The thing is, in order to survive, you have set in place ingenious ways to prevent yourself to get to your impulses:
- doubts — you begin questioning yourself if it is the right thing to do, if you are capable of doing it, maybe it is just your imagination, who knows? You can discover your own doubt architecture by starting to notice what is happening when you doubt, what are the sentences that come up? To whom do the voices belong to?
- emotional fears — the doubts may have root in an emotional fear, notice it, write it down and use it as the next door for your healing journey
- emotional anger coming from your Parent Ego State saying that you are crazy, that you have things to do, more important things, reasonable things, logical things!
- and an ecstasy coming from your Gremlin once the confusion is set in by all the doubting, anger, fear, what is behind that ecstasy?
This creates an energetic wall that prevents you from connecting your impulses with movement, with action. So the little spark gets crushed by the despair created by the doubting mechanism.
It is exhausting and once you realize, the moment is gone because the impulse is in the Now.
Connecting with your physical body by turning your attention inwards is one of the experiments that you can do to build the mass to open more and more space for your impulses to come:
- take one week to notice all the physical sensations that you experience in your body and as soon as they come follow them, if you are hungry, eat, if you are thirsty, drink. Don’t wait one minute, do it immediately.
- the next week start asking your physical body questions once you get the sensations. So if you are hungry, ask him “what do you want to eat?” And allow yourself to go wild, eat soup at breakfast, eat breakfast at noon. What is it that your physical body is asking you to do?
Once you start building this muscle you may want to start and experiment with your impulses:
- when the wall comes, stop doing whatever you are doing, and slide consciously into the wall sensation. Keep breathing, let it get a little bit bigger, start writing down all the sentences and emotions that you notice.
- after that, navigate to the other side of the wall, use your conscious fear to walk through the wall, until you get to the other side. Use your heart, not your mind.
- on the other side, there is a sensation, a clear and limpid sensation that is the energetic signature of your impulse. With one deep breath go into the sensation and let yourself be swallowed by it. As you are inside of the sensation let it impregnate your skin, your cells, your tissues. It is now a memory on your physical body
- repeat this as many times as you want.
The next part of the experiment is to follow the sensation everytime it comes, use the sensation as a guide, just like you do when you are thirsty.
I wish you a wonderful and magical journey with your impulses and I can’t wait to hear the legends you’ll be creating!
With Love,
Sónia
